I am realizing more and more that horses are simular to people; in their reactions, thought processes, etc.
Trust for example. In order to get a horse to trust you —especially an abused horse— it takes a lot of patience. You have to do little things slowly and then back off and try it the next day. It takes a long time. And after a while you will realize that the horse trusts you a little more. But day by day you must be gentle, patient, and only take little steps. If you push too hard or too fast, the horse will only react badly and you will be set back. All is true with people who have been emotionally or physically abused. It is very slow steps to get a horse or person to trust you... And it is easy to have a set back by pushing too hard.
Another area is alike. Both horses and humans can have walls. Treat a horse as worthless and unappreciated and you will get an unresponsive horse. Even if the horse is obliging enough to let you ride it, handle it, etc, there are still walls that generally no one takes the time to penetrate. Like I said, people are the same. Some people grow up believing they're worthless and unappreciated. They build up walls against the pain. And in turn, they wall out peace, joy, and love as well. Equine and humans alike will fight with everything within them to protect those walls. They are terrified of the pain. But what neither realize is that the walls are made of pain. The floor is soaked with tears. And they gained nothing but lost the most important thing: the ability to love and be loved. No matter how much attention you give to that horse, they might take forever to realize that it's actually real. No matter how much you love on some people...they don't dare allow themselves to believe that it might stick around.
Maybe that's why places like Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch are so vital to some people... They need someone to relate to them. And some horses can but those same horses will never up and walk away. They will never abuse your trust. And so it teaches kids, teens, and I'm sure some adults, how to trust again. It takes the honest eye, gentle face, and soft hide of a horse to tear the walls down. It takes the God of heaven and earth's majestic creation to penetrate to the heart He loves so deeply.
Speaking as one who knows the walls, knows the pain, knows the fighting and the struggles, I have to say this: There is always more. There is always more than we can say, more than you can see. We don't choose to hide things because we want to, we choose to hide things because we have to. I have to hide, we have to fight, we have to put up walls. We do what we do out of fear and hope. Fear of being hurt again, and hope that someday, somehow, the right person will come along and see. See what we are going through. Someone who can be trusted. Someone that can comfort us from the pain. Someone who understands what has happened, and is not willing to judge or to make accusations. We hope, for someone who will truly Love us. But the fear inside ourselves always fights back, fighting back out of instinct and memory... the memory of so many promises broken, lies told, and love taken away... We know what it feels like to be hurt, and we always fear that it will happen again. No matter how genuine new love may appear. We trust no one, because trust is only a cause of our pain in the first place. When we put up walls, it is to protect us yes, but even more so it is to give us freedom and control over the pain that we fear is seemingly overwhelming if not walled off. Our only experiences without walls have caused is pain, and therefore is the only reality we know outside our walls. You cannot convince us to take down our walls until you can show us that there Truly is something on the other side with letting go for... It's not the wall..it's the pain. I can't shut you down because you do not understand our kind of pain and fear, but I can encourage you to always keep an open mind and an open heart, because I understand you. But others may not. You tread on the thin ice of ignorance vs. informed. And I know where you heart is in this, but I have to tell you: please, be careful. Like I said in the beginning, there is always more...
ReplyDeleteSo..much..more...